Comments on A Church for Starving Artists: Sharing Secrets

I've had the same experiences on a few occasions. ...

2008-08-22T14:33:00.000-04:00

I've had the same experiences on a few occasions. I kept thinking that I must have said soemthing wrong until I mentioned this 'tell and run away' phenomena to a few other pastors. Like you, they all confirmed that it is a sad part of pastoral life.

Slowly dying - I hope - is the church that require...

2008-08-22T09:11:00.000-04:00

Slowly dying - I hope - is the church that requires everybody to be shiny and problem-free.

the trouble is we are so unforgiving and so judgemental. there but for the grace of God means that we are ok -and they poor sinner -are not

Jesus weeps today because we still haven't got it!

To add to what PK observed, society also encourage...

2008-08-21T09:34:00.000-04:00

To add to what PK observed, society also encourages us to shun or, worse, laugh at and publicly deride, those who share their secrets.

I think people run away because after they've "shown you theirs" as it were, every time they look at you they are different in their own eyes. Whether or not they are different to you.

Secret sharing is harder now than ever before, I t...

2008-08-21T09:21:00.000-04:00

Secret sharing is harder now than ever before, I think, because our society is so obsessive with knowing others' mistakes. Like Senator Edwards' affair. One of his dark secrets got out and now there are television pundits are calling him a monster. When we constantly see celebrity and public servants' mistakes constantly publicized, and the inherent commentary, I think it makes people instinctively hold on to their own personal secrets even tighter. I mean, if you hear someone, maybe even at a church, rip into a senator for having an affair while his wife has cancer, what might they think of a fellow parishioner who ended his marriage when he gave his wife an STD from an affair he was having.

This is a very provocative topic. It touches on so...

2008-08-21T09:09:00.000-04:00

This is a very provocative topic. It touches on so many areas of human life that in many ways only Jesus can address. I think it goes to the deepest question of intimacy and personal identity. I too have had people share something deeply secretive, and then vanish from my life. Some were, I say, were close friends. No longer.
Aristotle sees three levels of friendship. First, a utilitarian level where our companionship is mutually beneficial. Second, the level of pleasure, where we truly enjoy the other person. The third is one of completeness. It is here where the secrets are shared and kept, I suspect. That third level is increasingly difficult to establish as relationship become increasing virtual, and therefore utilitarian. It leads me back to what I knew thirty plus years ago, that only through the transforming power of Christ can we be whole people. Thanks for linking to PostSecrets site. It describes many of the people I encounter everyday.

Since the world is constantly telling us that we n...

2008-08-21T08:16:00.000-04:00

Since the world is constantly telling us that we need to be new, improved, better, cleaner, shinier, younger... I don't think my mainline denomination... in the area I live... will ever be open to non-people like us.

While I'd love to say "when"... it's better for me to say... if we are brave enough to start new congregatgions with pastors that have been taught new ways of communicating... perhaps... we have a chance of reaching out to anyone seeking solace in Christ.