A friend emailed today to share that the midwestern church she serves is dying. She shared the news as if describing a terminally ill friend. And now she's seeking support on how to cope, how to prepare "the family," how to care for everyone so that it will be a good death.This is the second time in as many weeks that someone has told me about the impending death of a congregation. The first one I heard about will shut its doors in May. "It's been a long time coming," says a woman who grew up in that church.
We will be seeing more of this as many older congregations make the decision to close in the coming years, unable to keep a pastor or their building. And it's not just about "old" congregations; according to various reports, 80% of all new church plants close within a few years of starting.
So . . . what's the story here? What makes a church "die"?
Whether it's a hundred year old congregation or a 3 year old congregation, my hunch is that they share at least one similarity: they existed for themselves.
John Edmund Kaiser (in the dullest titled book ever) asks all congregations who care about their destiny to ask: Why does our congregation exist?
Kaiser says (and I agree) that there are three possible answers:
- This congregation exists for us - the people inside.
- This congregation exists for others - the people outside.
- This congregations exists for both.
Rick Warren in PDL wrote that 89% of church folks said that their congregations exist to serve themselves and their families. A minority said that they exist for others. And some churches say that they try to serve both, although the reality is that one ultimately trumps the other.
We've all heard comments like these:
- Nobody from church visited my mother in the hospital.
- I don't like the hymns we sing in worship.
- Why don't we have a stronger youth program for my kids?
And speaking of The Great Commission, it's clear that we are supposed to both make disciples and teach them. We don't reach out to people and then fail to nourish them spiritually. But the mission of Christ has to be first, and serving ourselves has to be second. Or we die.
And this is not about "not dying" either. It's about thriving in the name of the risen Christ. It's about creating corners of resurrection all around us and far away.
The church does not exist to meet our personal needs. The sad thing is that most of us don't realize this.
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17 comments:
Thanks so much for your comments. It's unfortunate that we have these dying congregations, but ultimately it's going to happen. But, with death comes new life and I hope that we in the Presby church can use the loss of congregations as fertilizer for new congregations or new growth within existing congregations.
I'm serving a church that is far from dying, but for some that idea is still on their minds b/c they see their brothers and sisters in Christ struggling.
I enjoyed your three points brought out from the book and while they seem to be basic (something I think the Presbymergent conversation needs to have once in a while), they are also profound.
well done new friend...
revdad
Preach it, sister. Amen, and amen.
Here's a question: how do we encourage people to realize this? I'm fairly convinced that "telling them so" is only a tiny part of the answer, if any.
We were just discussing "who the church is for" - i.e., your exact three possibilities - on Anglimergent. :-)
This is so, so true,
So true.
Great post. I fear I am serving a congregation that has just this "we exist for ourselves" belief. I recently learned from another colleague that my predecessor left when, after encouraging the Session to reach out into the community, two elders came to him and said "we don't want to reach out." I have said the words "If we exist for ourselves we will die" but I don't think they get it. Now they are a couple of years away from not being able to support a full-time pastor.
your post is great, but the title is missing a word between "not" and "us": just!
Hi Anonymous,
You're 100% right, of course - but I have to ask: do you know of any actual churches that are in danger of forgetting about or neglecting the *inward* focus (i.e., the focus on the needs of those who are already members)? I suspect that the danger is much more in the other direction, so I kind of like Jan's title as it stands....
But don't you find this "we exist for ourselves" attitude a trickle down from the general populace? Said attitude which is, in place of killing the church, is killing the planet?
I love the phrase Bonhoeffer used to use to describe the church: a community gathered "mit einander fur einander," or "with one another for one another." And this is not the self-centered "MY" church you've correctly identified as the killer of churches - it's the understanding that we all of us are here for each other, not only to meet our own wants and desires.
Presby Gal had a good point, too - the church is, as always, reflecting the pool in which we're swimming.
I for one was excited at what the Pew Report told us about church decline and the lack of denominational loyalty, because we're rapidly approaching the point when just holding on to what we've always been will no longer be possible. I think the church in America is headed to a new frontier, and while it's going to be scary, it's also going to be one helluva ride.
I have another question. What can be done to honor lives and faiths nurtured over the years in a congregation now dying? What would a congregational funeral look like? How would the Resurrection be proclaimed in that service. The Medieval church got a little too carried away with relics, but they did serve the purpose of providing a tangible link between lives of faith separated by centuries. What in the dying congregation might be a holy relic to be passed on to a renewed and growing congregation?
I really dig your blog. You always make me think. And at the same time, I think we agree on a lot of stuff to. But, I'm going to try to keep your post in the forefront of my mind .... Good food for thought.
Have you ever noticed the fundemental difference between southeran churches and the northern counterparts? Let's take Arkansas for example, if the people of that state spent one tenth of what the spend on church to their education system, Arkansas would be the "smartest' and most educated in the states. Then if you look at Wisconsin, if they spent one tenth of what they spend on schools, on thier churches, they would not have dying churches.
It is just an observation.
Amen. Thanks for this honest look at the state of so many congregations.
Great post, Jan. Very thought-provoking. Your blog has been really rich lately.
This post has been stuck in my head all day, and my thoughts have landed on this question:
So only churches that are outward-focused have money for facility and staff? It would seem to me that the opposite would be true. I would think that an organization devoted to 'the other' would blow itself up like a supernova-- it would be giving itself away at such a rate that it would quickly be termed a 'failure'.
(full disclosure: I've never seen a church like this, and I take a salary, too)
Another great, thought-provoking post, Jan.
I think PG & RevScott are correct ... and isn't that at least part of the problem ... we are a reflection of society instead of a being Christ's countercultural light into that darkness?
left out a couple of words .. should have said: "we are too often too much a reflection .."
I think sometimes congregations die because of the "Back to Egypt" mentality you describe. But I think more often churches die for the same reasons people die. They are human institutions subject to the way of all flesh. There are times when a congregation is simply done. The time for doing the thing that congregation was uniquely suited and called to do has passed and it's time to say, "Well done, good and faithful servants" and plan for a good death so that something new can be born of God in that place. This seems so much more grace-ful than browbeating a group of regular folks who are truly doing the best they can about their "lack of vision".
The trick is discerning when you've got a congregation that has the potential for radical transformation if guided carefully in that direction and when you have a congregation whose time has come die gracefully.
purechristianithink: I agree that sometimes seasons change, even for congregations.
Good death, celebrating that life, is definitely the way to go.
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