Loner

“He was a loner.”
Of course he was. Just like so many others.

I’m a Myers-Briggs introvert and I love being alone, which doesn’t happen much. But I am rarely Alone In The World – which is a very different thing.

I once felt excruciatingly Alone In The World. It happened while at college which is when such misery often rears its ugly head, in spite of the fact that college students are usually surrounded by other college students who share their passions, interests, ability to consume pizza at 3 am. That AITW time was horrible. I lost 30 pounds. Wanted to die. Was pretty sure I was going to die. It was pretty crummy.

But it was also the time when I came to know God in a very personal way, and for that I am grateful. I had the profound sense that although Jesus was male/Jewish/divine and lived 2000 years before my time . . . he knew me.

I sense that on some level – or maybe on every level - Cho Seung-Hui felt Alone In The World.

This is no excuse. But there are lots of kids like this and we need to notice them.

They are often invisible. They are sure nobody gets them and maybe nobody does. No ears long to hear their secrets. No arms gladly hold them. Or so they believe.

My colleague and I spent a good chunk of Tuesday hanging out with M - a homeless man with some mental health issues -- who felt alone in the world, and I think the way we dealt with him was impacted by the events of the previous day at Virginia Tech. We wanted to pay attention to this man. We wanted him to know that somebody cared where he slept and what he ate.

Loners are often odd/self-possessed/difficult. But they probably also hurt a little or a lot. We need to pay attention.

Painting is Sad Young Man On A Train by Marcel Duchamp (1912).