Note: This post is copied from our congregation's sabbatical blog because there are readers who don't read the other blog and I didn't merely want to link them. Because our tour group visited some of the 7 Churches of The Revelation of John last week, I delved into the Biblical book of Revelation again to review those famed messages to the churches. I discovered that Jesus was ahead of his time in the personal feedback department.

Jesus – when sharing feedback via revelation through John – used the familiar sandwich model: Begin and end with positive feedback (the bread) but stuff it with critical substance (the peanut butter and jelly/ the chicken salad.) For example:

Bread: I know your deeds, your hard work, and your perseverance . . .

Sandwich Fixin’s: Yet . . . you have forsaken the love you had at first . . .

Bread: But you have this in your favor: you hate the practices of the Nicolaitans, which I also hate.

The metaphor of an Oreo also works, except that the creamy center is usually our favorite part of the Oreo and this is not usually the case for a Sandwich Performance Review.

David C. Novak, CEO of Yum Brands (Pizza Hut, KFC, etc.), said in a recent interview that his workers are “starving for feedback.”

Our congregation does not seem “starved for feedback.” But isn’t the nature of spiritual development that we make changes to become more like Christ? If we are more interested in being cared for (casseroles) or merely eligible for sacraments/rites (baptism/marriage/funeral), then aren’t we missing the point of Christian spiritual growth? God tells us things about ourselves we need to know but don’t always want to know.

As a pastor, I long for feedback that is substantive and ministry enhancing. It doesn’t help to hear “Nice sermon” because I don’t know what that means. I’ve heard that “management” is not my gift which on the one hand makes me think, “Good, because I am not called to be a manager” but on the other hand makes me wonder “What does better management look like for you (give me specifics) and what does that say about our vision for the church (because management that looks like “the pastor is a chaplain who serves us” might conflict with my theology.)

So, with the hope of lots of comments here, I’d like to offer a sandwich of sorts, in the model of John’s letters to the 7 Churches:

To the Church of FP, you have endured enormous challenges over the past 63 years: divisions, disappointments, transience, and cultural shifts. You have displayed many examples of personal sacrifice for the sake of the gospel. Your love for each other is demonstrated in hospitality that overlooks individual differences. You’ve shown genuine love and concern for each other.

But you love institutions more than you love Jesus.

(NB: This is my sin too.)

Institutions are important. Marriage. Denominations. Universities. Hospitals. Particular Church Structures. Clubs. They order human life and service.

But they are merely the instruments for serving God which is our basic life purpose. They are not God. We don’t worship the PCUSA or our particular church or a particular entity within our particular church. We don’t worship our jobs, our children, our spouses, or our favorite things/organizations/ideas. That would be idolatry.

We are really good at idolatry.

However, if we are faithful, even to the point of death, Christ will give us life.Whoever has ears, let them hear what the Spirit says to the Churches.

Chances are that consuming that particular sandwich makes our stomachs hurt. It might be digestable. Or not.

Whether we trust the one who delivered the sandwich is crucial. (Example: if I trust the person who gives me constructive feedback, it might hurt but I will readily accept it with thanks. If I don’t trust that person, then I won’t give it much creedence.) Am I still trusted as a pastor? Are the elders and deacons trusted?

This question requires more than a blog conversation. But it's an important conversation for congregations to have.

Antioch

It was a splendid day in Antakya (Antioch in the Bible) which is where people who followed Jesus were first called "Christians" according to Acts. TBC and I hiked up a mountain and worshipped in St. Peter's Grotto, one of the earliest gathering places for the first believers beginning sometime around 29-40 CE. We documented our adventure in the 5 minute film below and although my voice had to compete with high winds, you can get a sense of our experience.

St Peter's Grotto from Jan Edmiston on Vimeo.

Obviously, we survived the cave exploration but hilarity ensued. (The only way this adventure would have been funnier was if BSE had been there for color commentary.)

TBC - wearing a skirt and Birks - displayed a special grace under pressure. Even wearing pants and sneakers, I was exceptionally awkward.

Sadly (or with immense thanksgiving) we have no film footage of the cave exploration, but if you can imagine me and TBC climbing in utter darkness on our hands and knees through narrow caves - that didn't start out so narrow or dark, or we never would have ventured into them - you get the picture. You remember those higher caves in my video? That's where we climbed. Yikes.

Here is a sample of our conversation on this trek with our guides, two Turkish boys who offered to show us the caves after we visited St. Peter's Grotto.

Young Turkish Boy #1 You want tunnel? (pointing to the caves)
Me and TBC Sure.
Me (to TBC) Do you think this is a bad idea?
TBC When in Rome . . .
YTB #2 This way. Only 200 meters.
Me We're going in there? (when told to climb into a hole the size of a doghouse door)
YTB #2 Only 8 meters.
TBC What?
YTB #1 Cave. It's easy.
Me (now on hands and knees with backpack stuck on cave ceiling) Can anybody see anything up there?
YTB #1 (to TBC) Here. Light. (He pulls out a cigarette lighter.)
TBC He has a lighter! Keep going and I think there's some sunlight ahead. But watch out for your . . .
Me. Ouch!
TBC . . . head.
Me. (Can't stop laughing. Head really hurts.)
YTB #1 (now in the distance) Cave. Only 400 meters.
Me What did he say?
YTB #2 No problem.
TBC Mom, are you okay?
YTB #1 Cave. No problem. 100 meters.
YTB #2 Up. Climb. (while climbing into hole.) 8 meters up.
TBC No. Down.
YTB #2 Cave. Up. No problem.
TBC No really. Down.

So, I'm trying to imagine how terrifying this would be if you were secretly worshipping Jesus up in a grotto with Peter and the Romans were coming and you didn't have a Bic lighter. Our day was an adventure. Theirs would be something quite different.

We will sleep well this Sabbath night, happy for the freedom to worship and for air conditioning. Headed to Cappadoccia tomorrow.

Unintentional Ambassadors

It's a good time to review The Revelation which is not exactly light reading.

HH, TBC, and I continue our adventure through Turkey visiting several of the sites where early Christians once worshipped. And many of these sites were visited long, long ago by someone delivering some news from Jesus via John who'd been banished to a Greek Island called Patmos where he received The Revelation. Whew.

Here's another revelation that I encountered yesterday: on our own boat to Patmos, as I was explaining all this Revelation business to TBC with my Bible, another young woman on our tour asked if she could join us for "our Bible study." Then another young woman asked if she could join us. Then another. This was 3 days into our time together and the other young women had heard through the grapevine that there was A Woman Pastor On The Trip.

This did not seem to be a group who had seen many women pastors. They are all in their late teens/early twenties and had probably watched their own mothers and aunts serve in the church, but they had not seen many (or any) "official" women pastors.

We found ourselves move from Bible Study to Firing Line - in the best sense of the word:

• "How do you interpret what Paul says about women speaking in church?"
  
• "What do you think about predestination?"
  
• "Do you believe in universalism?"
  
• "Where did you go to seminary?"

My daughter - TBC - has never known a world in which women could not be pastors. I'd already been ordained for 8 years when she was born.

But none of those other young women have been told that this is possible for them. One of them even spoke briefly at worship on Sunday at St. Paul's (and she was the most articulate, and the only female, of those speaking about the church's summer camp experience.) But none of the other "official" speakers, from the liturgist to the preacher, were women and I have a feeling that's the usual order of things.

On the first day of this tour, someone asked me, "What do you do?" and when I said, "I'm a pastor" it was an EF Hutton moment. HH mentioned later that I might be planting seeds in the minds of some of the young women with us.

I hope so.

But it's funny how things work. I expected to come to this foreign place to serve as an ambassador from my country proving that Americans can be gracious and friendly. Instead I've (once again) become an ambassador for a theology that reminds people that women are also called to serve in the church - maybe even as pastors. Keeps me on my toes.

Photo of belly dancing outfits available at The Grand Market in Istanbul.

Why I Came to Turkey

For years I have wanted to visit the St. Paul's Cultural Center in Antalya. Today I worshipped with the congregation there, many of whom I am now traveling with to ancient sites in the Western Meditteranean part of Turkey.

It's dangerous enough to be a follower of Jesus in Turkey that a guard is posted at the entryway of this establishment. They just finished two weeks of Olive Grove - their summer camp and although I could share amazing stories I've heard, it could possibly put their work at risk and so I won't.

Many say we in the United States live in a post-Christian culture. Yes, there are church buildings in every town and Christmas is still a national holiday, but many of us go through the motions. We are cultural Christians.

I have Muslim and Jewish friends who celebrate Christmas. I saw a fully covered Muslim mom buy Easter baskets for her children last March. Our culture is replete with people wearing crosses around their necks and saying, "Jesus Christ" a lot. But that doesn't mean we are a devout nation.

Mixing patriotism, citizenship, and Christianity has not been helpful. Some would say that we are more about "churchianity" which has little to do with following Jesus.

And so I have come to Turkey to watch people who live out their faith with some semblance of danger. St. Paul's was a victim of arson a few years ago. Today there is a Turkish language worship time on Sundays but cameras are not allowed - I assume - because it could be detrimental to documents those who worship with that congregation.

And so later today, as we visits the amazing ruins of the church of Laodicea where the people were told "you are neither hot nor cold" (i.e. lukewarm followers of Jesus) I realized how little some things have changed.

We are still rather lukewarm in our passion for bringing God's kingdom to earth.

We are still thinking we don't need God (until we find ourselves desperate.)

We are still blind (and occasionally "wretched, pitiful, poor, and naked") although we don't realize it.

I'm guilty too. But being with people who are willing to take risks for what they believe is inspiring and worth the extended jet lag (as if that is some kind of sacrifice.)

Mosaic of photos from St. Paul's in Antalya, Turkey.

Pastor as Person

I write this in response to thoughts churning around in my head tonight. It's about 6:30 pm Eastern Time Friday night at home, but 1:30 am on Saturday from where I write. Can't sleep.

• The Rev. Brad Braxton, Pastor of Riverside Church in NYC, is leaving that position after only 9 months, apparently due to church conflict over his compensation package. I learned about this via Adam Walker Cleaveland's blog post.


• There are times I find myself being put on the defensive about the sabbatical (after serving for 20 years, this is only my second sabbatical) and to make matters worse, a couple church emails have slipped through, keeping me up tonight. I often hear even the voices of people I love criticizing me for needing/taking time off. My own aunt told me that her pastor "never even took a day off for over 20 years much less did he ever take a sabbatical." I'm not sure that's true, but that's her impression.

Impressions are everything.

• Apparently some of the people of Riverside Church believe that their pastor is being paid too much money. Maybe he is and maybe he isn't. But if the impression is that he is paid too much, then he's lost the confidence of his church.


• Apparently some wish I was not taking this sabbatical and it's frustrating them that I'm away. I understand that there was even a motion to return to Lilly the grant money given to our congregation favored by some who had had enough advance information about the process to know better. Not sure what this is about. Sometimes this kind of thing is really about something else.

But I wonder tonight about the role of Pastor as Person. A person who has a calling to serve those who pay her salary and even those who don't.

A person who indeed has financial needs. (I don't make anything close to the Rev. Braxton's terms of call but then I don't live in NYC either.)

The Pastor is a person who needs sabbath if for no other reason than to model sabbath for other people who also need it regardless of their occupation.

I am so grateful for the opportunity to talk about Jesus and what it means to follow Jesus to people beyond the membership rolls of our church. I not only believe that all pastors are called to do this; I believe we are shirking The Great Commission not to do so.

I am so grateful for my salary, generously paid by a congregation of faithful saints.

I am so grateful for rest. Today, as I was Just Sitting There Pondering This Glimpse of Heaven, I was overcome with thanksgiving for this gift.

We are all human. We are all called to serve according to our gifts. We all need to be gentle with each other as children of God. That's all. :)

Photo by J.W. of The New Mosque by moonlight in Istanbul tonight. I claim even this in the name of Jesus Christ.

Hospitality or Survival or Greed

There's a gas station/food mart/Dunkin Donuts/Baskin Robbins combo establishment near our house in Virginia, owned by a Muslim man. It is a testimony to his faith.

He doesn't sell beer or wine in his store. Cigarettes - yes. And of course, coffee and donuts. But because of his faith, alcoholic beverages are not available.

I thought of him as we ate breakfast in our lovely Eden-esque hotel in Istanbul this morning. There was food from every seed-bearing tree - along with a completely variety of actual seeds to spread on our yogurt or porridge - as well as assorted sausages: chicken, beef, veal. But no pork.

In the mini-bar, however, and in all the restaurants, one can order every kind of wine, beer, or liquor. Turkey is predominantly Muslim (which prohibits consumption of alcohol) and yet this hotel is filled with people from other countries and faiths who consider wine to be part of their cultural - if not religious - heritage.

So why is alcohol available here?

Is it a matter of hospitality? Or financial survival? Or greed?

I could make a case for all three. But because I've noticed a culture of hospitality in Turkey, I'm going to make the assumption that it's all about making people who do drink wine feel at home.

And as our congregation ponders the practice of allowing coffee cups in the sanctuary during scheduled worship times, we could ask the same question:

• Is allowing coffee cups a matter of hospitality? (i.e. we want people who are not like us - people who would never think of bringing a cup of coffee into the sanctuary - to feel at home?)
  
• Is it a matter of survival? (i.e. we are desperate to get people into the church for our very survival?)
  
• Is it a matter of greed? (i.e. we will nab worshippers any way we can, even if we are forsaking basic theological beliefs?)

Discuss.

Photo from our room in Istanbul.

First Thoughts from Turkey

We've seen a Turkish girl wearing a High School Musical t-shirt and several reports on Michael Jackson here in Istanbul. But basically it feels wonderfully different from home.

Arrived Thursday afternoon with no luggage and yet all is well. We ate dinner in Europe overlooking Asia. Tomorrow - we hope with our clothes and toothbrushes - we will explore ancient city once named after the first Roman emperor who embraced Christianity (sort of.)

Photo of the Fatih Mosque built on the site where the Church of the Apostles - which purportedly once held the skulls of Andrew, Luke, and Timothy - once stood.
I marvel at the shift from following Jesus to collecting skulls.

So Fortunate

Today we leave for Istanbul. Then Damascus. Then Amman.

I am enormously grateful to The Church's One Foundation and to The Church's One Foundation. Will be blogging as able.